Falling into slumber, an always tedious time of night for me. Regardless, I need my rest, so I lay my head down to sleep every night.

Dream one this week took place outside of a house in an extended cab truck.

My brother was in the driver’s seat. My cousin was riding shotgun. I sat in the seat behind the driver’s seat and a guy I do not know sat next to me. We were getting elevated… just talking and relaxing before going into the house.

A young kid, maybe 18 was walking on the sidewalk and I don’t think he noticed we were in the truck. When he got to the front of the truck he pulled something out of his jacket and started doing something to the front of the truck.

We noticed and hopped out of the truck with our hands in the air like ‘what are you doing?’. I guess he was trying to take the license plate cover… Us being a peaceful people just wanted to shoo the kid away and go inside the house since we were done flying high… But the person who I do not know in my dream had something else in mind.

He looked angry and lost. Reacting with emotion instead of logic. He had a gun… He pulled it out and shot the kid in the head. The kid dropped to the ground. The blood splattered at me. The foul stench of death also hit me as soon as the shot fired off. I was upset at the guy for shooting this kid.

I literally woke up… smelling the gun powder and death. I felt really down that day. Usually a dream doesn’t bother me. I had other things on my mind recently upon awakening… work to be completed and someone I care about. Though on this morning I woke up, neither were on my mind. Only why had I had that dream. Who was the emotional kid. Who was the kid who got shot. Why did I smell what I smelled from a dream.

Dream two was even more vivid…

A girl I have found interesting has been very stand offish as of late. We had went to dinner and were just talking about politics and other random things we normally talk about as we enjoyed our dinner. It was an uneasy dinner though as things as of late had been bumpy and I was clueless as to why.

It was time for us to go as we both had finished or meals. I got up to go pay the bill as she went to the ladies room real quick before we left. We left the restaurant and it was cold out. She cuddled up next to me as we walked to the car. This was not normal behavior as we had never expressed any affection towards each other. (Yes we’ve both been playing these dumb games of chicken.) I smiled and felt really happy that the walls we both put up were hopefully being taken down.

We got in the car and I immediately had to blurt out that I liked her. She gave me a kiss on the lips in reply. We drove around town for a while. She sat right next to me cuddled onto my side. As I drove I pointed out how certain places in town had changed from when I was a youngin’. She wasn’t from our little town.

We finally headed back to my apartment and parked in the lot. She gave me a kiss on my cheek as we unbuckled our seat belts. We got out and started walking towards my place.

This is where things just went downhill and messed up what was an amazing dream. We walked past an alleyway where some thugs were beating up some man. They shot the man as we walked by and looked their way. We started to run as the thugs fired shots and obscenities off at us.

We got away. I called 911 and reported the crime and that we needed some protection in case they found us.

The cops came and took us down to the station. Immediately out of nowhere we were told that she would need to be under the witness protection program and leave the town. Only her, not us. We had finally come together and then she was taken away from me. So random and so sudden of a scene.

I woke up wondering why.

I don’t normally remember dreams. Nor do I remember them this vividly.

I sit here in my cozy cave by a warm fire with a feeling of anxiety. I am having a hard time narrowing down what the cause is from, or maybe it’s having a hard time admitting what it could be.

I have enough food stored away for the time being, so that is not causing my mind to be at unease. There shouldn’t be much work required from me until after the storm passes and that is weeks away. This feeling of security is a great one to have and is not why I have been anxious.

Two new babies have come into being this month. Both arriving ahead of their estimated dates of arrival. Though their parents were worried, as all parents are I am sure, I knew that all would be well. Though seemingly assuming, my sixth sense has never been wrong. I am positive this is not the cause of the anxiety.

The amount of personal knowledge I have learned this month has been very uplifting mentally. In turn, the knowledge will benefit me physically as well. No time for procrastination as that will only stifle the goal at hand. The last few years has been a buildup of self improvement and I am proud of where I am at and where I am going. Especially after this bumpy year.

I need to realize that this year is ending. Symbolically that means my ‘bad’ year should also end. That or the next year I face is going to be tougher and this year was to help me build up in preparation.

This year hasn’t been all bad. It’s ending with a huge roller coaster ride. The ups outweigh the downs… I guess that would have to be the case or I would not stay on the ride. Or… my impatience is getting the best of me and I want to know how it will play out.

I guess that is it. What is my fate? The fire I took back from Zeus was so we could stay warm, not to prove anything more. Here I am warm, but hoping for the day Hercules will come and slay the eagle.